Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Marriage Problems and Solutions: Making Men Listen to What You Are Saying

It is so naive if one is thinking that you will go through your marriage life easily without any intrigue and obstacles. Even, small rumors about your spouse may lead to serious marriage problems and solutions will be hard to find if you both do not have trust and good communication between each other. During your dating, effective communication is important to know each other, but it develops into even more crucial aspect when you decide to enter a committed institution with the man you love. If you fail to comprehend men and understand that they do not communicate in the same way as the women do, it may spring a lifetime aggravation that could finally lead to a bitter divorce.

First, you women should reconsider how you approach a man when you need to talk to him. Maybe you once have been in a conversation with your husband and you said “We need to talk.” When you come out with that phrase, you have instantly forced him in his defensive state. When he catches those words, he will immediately put up his emotional shield. You will find him unable to listen to words you’re saying. Those words will smack the men in fear and make them think, “Oh my. What did I do wrong now?”

If you are in that situation but hope for a husband who is really listening to your words, you should endeavor to have methods of marriage problems and solutions. The solutions should adjust you to approach your husband at the right time. Men are biologically designed to concentrate on one thing at one particular time. On the other hand, women are able to perform multi-tasking without burdening them too much. If your husband has already concentrated on his overtime workload or on watching his favorite basketball team or doing something else, you should plan to delay your talk. The talk will only give him stress when you come with something that demands his full attention. You should meet him at a better time and you may hope for a much better response.

Furthermore, you should avoid pointing fingers to your man. You should start telling him how you feel. Instead of “you”, the pronouns of “I” and “we” are more preferable to build a good atmosphere during your conversation with your man. You perhaps, for example, are having a husband who has problems in finding some times for togetherness with you. He may be distracted due to his works, children, or some activities with his buddies. If so, you don’t say “You never have time for me and the kids.” Once the words are pronounced to your husband, he will relate it to “You’re not a good husband or father.” He will feel unappreciated and disrespected because he’s doing this to provide a good life for the family. 

Now is the time to overcome the marriage problems and solutions will be available by giving your husband appreciation, and feel of being needed rather than being harassed because he’s not doing something as your expectation.

If you are looking for the best online course to save your marriage problem, The best solution i really recommend is Save my marriage today by Amy waterman.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Premarital Counseling Questions - An Overview!

Marriage is like a boat with the husband and wife collaborating to steer it to a designated port. It is normal for a boat to get struck by shocking wave. Sometimes those two captains have different idea on the way they steer the boat. If they both fail to team up, it can be easily predicted that the boat will never reach the designated shore.

Analogue to the sailing boat, everyone is expecting that his or her marriage will be a happy ending story. However, you will go through some problems for sure. Even some couples may end up in bitterness and divorce. In America divorce is rated around 50 percent since the mid 80’s. The reasons are various, but poor communication may root all causes.

The best solution to avoid the stressful problems is to ensure the couples undergo some premarital counseling questions before vowing your lifetime commitment. Premarital counselors will help you design questions to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts after marriage. Answering the questions will provide you a better understanding of your spouse and their expectations in regards to marriage. Below you will find some samples of premarital questions. They are intended as a preventive act against future obstacles.

Premarital counseling questions are categorized to present during different sessions. You should take times to discuss each answer and resolve conflicts that may appear in depth. Each of you should give honest answers on paper without discussing it with your spouse. Once the couples complete the questions, they can work out a feasible plan for marriage. You should put your decision in answers to avoid later conflicts.

The premarital questions should address the following areas:
  •     Communication
  •     Marriage expectation
  •     Conflict resolution
  •     Financial roles and responsibilities
  •     Sexual expectations
  •     Personality points
  •     Children and parenting
  •     Spirituality
  •     Shares of roles in marriage
  •     Leisure activities

On financial matters, you will be asked about your individual and blended financial conditions and plan. The questions will head to your outstanding debt and your plan to repayment. Insurance is questioned also to follow up some on savings or investments and retirement plan. It will help you set an agreement on how you will divide your fortune if divorce happens.

Premarital counseling questions will help you clarify your marriage expectations. You will have a description on what your spouse is expecting and how you may contribute to a solid marriage. They also address how you prefer to resolve conflict that may appear. You should know how far your spouse is tolerant to different opinions and imperfections.

You will have earlier plan for children in your later marriage by answering children and parenting section. You should make a deal on when you want to have children, how you will raise them, and how you will provide emotional and financial support for them.

You will only have to answer some premarital counseling questions before committing lifetime relationships. It is crucial to know your spouse well before you decide to spend the whole life together. The questions are intended to give positive inspiration for planning a marriage. You may use them as a starting point for together discussing your future.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Marriage Counseling Advice : Online Resource

When serious issues strike your marriage, you see nothing but surrender and goodbye to your partner. You just do not realize that you still have plenty options to rescue that previous marriage. One of those is to seek for professional help who would provide you marriage counseling advice. In condition where you both fail to tackle the misunderstanding in your relationship, marriage counseling is a promising answer. Almost all couples who took counseling sessions are enlightened to bring back their happy marriage.

If you have decided to seek for help, there are points to be remembered.
  1. Ask yourselves if you are ready to share your marital problems to the counselor
  2. Ask yourselves if you are ready to face the pain
  3. Ask yourselves if you have willingness to listen and communicate to your partner.
Nowadays you can turn to online resources for easier access to marriage advice and therapy. Compared to a face to face interaction therapy, online resources counseling does not mean less quality of counseling content. However, you may get anonymous marriage advice that declines your comfort in applying the advice. Some others are satisfied in the ability to have online relationship resources.

You may find many programs that offer marriage-counseling advice in the internet. Listed below are the most popular.
  •  MarriageMax.com brings up a system called marriage fitness, which is intended to shift momentum in your marriage. Rather than bringing up past issues, the system attempts to neutralize the marital problems and to practice communication technique. Marriage fitness serves to help such relationship problems as broken trust, addictive behaviors, lack of appreciation, and emotional fidelity. You can try their service starting with a free e-course and assessment to know if the technique works for your problems.
  • LightYourFire.com by Dr. Ellen proposes individual attention to either men or women. The system is intended to be easy, entertaining, and full of fun while working on your problem and teaching you to fight for your marriage security. Like the marriage fitness of MarriageMax.com, Light Your Fire advertises an alternative to marriage counseling and claims to work much more effectively and faster on your marital conflicts no matter how disengaged you both have become.
  • Theravive.com offers more than online marriage counseling advice for couples. It also serves on issues of individuals and families. Their system attempts to provide you the tools that you need to revive hope for your marriage and future. The advices at this site highlight values to help to establish realistic goals and to encounter some critical issues preventing you from building a solid marriage.
There are a number of online resources to get marriage counseling. Some of them do not exclusively concern on marriage and relationship issues. They may practice alternative techniques that are quite different to traditional marriage counseling. Some others may provide their marriage counseling advice on religious teachings basis to help you go through the rough times in your marriage. With so many offers, you may scroll through the list of marriage counseling services to repair your relationship.

Looking for the best course online?

Check out Save My Marriage Today By Amy Waterman. Click Here

Friday, February 25, 2011

Marriage Problems And Solutions - Common Marriage Problems

In this artiles I'm going to share with you about  marriage problems and solutions. For many young couples, there are common matrimony problems which often start to slip into the relationship over time.  If you are feeling that your marriage isn’t what it should be, or what you thought it would be when you first walked down the aisle, it's not just you.  Hundreds of thousands of couples grapple with marriage problems, frequently feeling that the problems are unique for their marriage.  This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and / or loneliness, when it doesn’t need to. 

So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing I hope after this you can find the solution.  All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.

The Solution for the marriage problem:

Experience just like you have “fallen out of love” against each other

Whenever you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your friends and family and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other.  For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years.  In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal.  The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgage loans can take up all of your time and energy.  And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that situation is pretty common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce. 

Taking one another as a given

Another probably the most typical marriage issues is that several couples begin to take each other without any consideration.  To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there.  But in marriages, this may lead to time consuming, being applied bitterness for just one or even the two of you.  Anyone wishes to experience loved, valued, and liked.  In the end, that was a huge part of the purpose you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted.  When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Unfortunately, what often happens is you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone. 



Failing to totally speak with each other

Poor conversation or perhaps the failure to really talk to one another is probably the most common marriage problems many couples face.  Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack.  Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse.  This is specifically true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm.  You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise.  Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change. 

If you and your spouse are battling together with any one of these typical marriage problems, there is hope.  The first step is always acknowledging the problem & don't stop looking for the solution. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!
 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Pre Marriage Counseling - Does Marriage Counseling Work?

If you and your partner are going through a hard moment in your relationship, you may be considering relationship therapy.  But you also may be reluctant to pursue it if you are asking yourself , will marriage counseling deliver the results?  Nicely, right now there is no conclusive solution to that as the success of any type of counselling always depends on many various factors.  Many partners do find it to be very beneficial to their romantic relationship.  Other people feel it was ineffective or helped very little.  This article examines some of the factors that are necessary to answer “yes” to the question, “Does marriage counseling work?”.

You both are committed to working on the relationship

An important aspect for just about any kind of therapy or counselling to work is that the person getting it must be dedicated to the process and to enhancing the scenario.  For partners, if only one of you is dedicated to working through your partnership problems while the other is resistant, the solution to the question, “will marriage counseling deliver the results?” is more than likely gonna be“no”.   


Counseling is a collaborative process between the client and the therapist.  The greatest marriage counselor on the planet is going to have limited success with someone who has no desire to truly work on the relationship.  It has to be a two way street. Sometimes resistance to the therapy process can be overcome, particularly with an exceptionally experienced and skilled therapist, but it will be very difficult. 

You have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable

Another key factor with regards to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is whether or not you have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable.  No therapist is a good fit for everyone.  If this is the case, you and your spouse would be better off to find a different therapist to work with.  Too much is at stake to try to force a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t feel right for both of you. 

You are both willing to do the work

Talking in and of itself will only go so far in terms of bringing about the desired changes in your relationship.  While it can be helpful to have a safe place to discuss your feelings and concerns, there needs to be more.  Many therapists will give you exercises or homework to do between sessions.  These exercises help to reinforce what you are learning in therapy and give you an opportunity to practice new skills which you can discuss each week. The more you and your spouse participate and do the work, the more likely the answer to your question, “does marriage counseling work?” will be yes. 

Sticking with it and tolerating the pain

Two other very crucial elements in terms of the question, “does marriage counseling work” are:

•    You stick with it
•    You are willing to tolerate things getting worse before they get better

A lot of people drop out of counseling at some point.  They get discouraged or don’t like the process and assume the answer to, “does marriage counseling work?” is “no”. 

One of the primary factors people give up happens because things frequently get even worse before they improve.  A good counselor will get you prepared for this upfront.  Marriage counseling is going to open up some wounds and address some painful issues.  In the beginning, that can seem to create much more pain.  But it is akin to the requirement of cleaning out an infected wound so it can finally heal.  The cleaning process is painful, but it must happen or the wound will be there forever.   


If all these factors is existing for you and your spouse, then the solution to the problem, “will marriage counseling work?”, is very often a unquestionable yes.  It is not going to be easy, and it may be a lengthy process.  But if you really would like your marriage to be strong and healthy, the benefits are definitely more than worth it!