Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Marriage Problems and Solutions: Making Men Listen to What You Are Saying

It is so naive if one is thinking that you will go through your marriage life easily without any intrigue and obstacles. Even, small rumors about your spouse may lead to serious marriage problems and solutions will be hard to find if you both do not have trust and good communication between each other. During your dating, effective communication is important to know each other, but it develops into even more crucial aspect when you decide to enter a committed institution with the man you love. If you fail to comprehend men and understand that they do not communicate in the same way as the women do, it may spring a lifetime aggravation that could finally lead to a bitter divorce.

First, you women should reconsider how you approach a man when you need to talk to him. Maybe you once have been in a conversation with your husband and you said “We need to talk.” When you come out with that phrase, you have instantly forced him in his defensive state. When he catches those words, he will immediately put up his emotional shield. You will find him unable to listen to words you’re saying. Those words will smack the men in fear and make them think, “Oh my. What did I do wrong now?”

If you are in that situation but hope for a husband who is really listening to your words, you should endeavor to have methods of marriage problems and solutions. The solutions should adjust you to approach your husband at the right time. Men are biologically designed to concentrate on one thing at one particular time. On the other hand, women are able to perform multi-tasking without burdening them too much. If your husband has already concentrated on his overtime workload or on watching his favorite basketball team or doing something else, you should plan to delay your talk. The talk will only give him stress when you come with something that demands his full attention. You should meet him at a better time and you may hope for a much better response.

Furthermore, you should avoid pointing fingers to your man. You should start telling him how you feel. Instead of “you”, the pronouns of “I” and “we” are more preferable to build a good atmosphere during your conversation with your man. You perhaps, for example, are having a husband who has problems in finding some times for togetherness with you. He may be distracted due to his works, children, or some activities with his buddies. If so, you don’t say “You never have time for me and the kids.” Once the words are pronounced to your husband, he will relate it to “You’re not a good husband or father.” He will feel unappreciated and disrespected because he’s doing this to provide a good life for the family. 

Now is the time to overcome the marriage problems and solutions will be available by giving your husband appreciation, and feel of being needed rather than being harassed because he’s not doing something as your expectation.

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Premarital Counseling Questions - An Overview!

Marriage is like a boat with the husband and wife collaborating to steer it to a designated port. It is normal for a boat to get struck by shocking wave. Sometimes those two captains have different idea on the way they steer the boat. If they both fail to team up, it can be easily predicted that the boat will never reach the designated shore.

Analogue to the sailing boat, everyone is expecting that his or her marriage will be a happy ending story. However, you will go through some problems for sure. Even some couples may end up in bitterness and divorce. In America divorce is rated around 50 percent since the mid 80’s. The reasons are various, but poor communication may root all causes.

The best solution to avoid the stressful problems is to ensure the couples undergo some premarital counseling questions before vowing your lifetime commitment. Premarital counselors will help you design questions to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts after marriage. Answering the questions will provide you a better understanding of your spouse and their expectations in regards to marriage. Below you will find some samples of premarital questions. They are intended as a preventive act against future obstacles.

Premarital counseling questions are categorized to present during different sessions. You should take times to discuss each answer and resolve conflicts that may appear in depth. Each of you should give honest answers on paper without discussing it with your spouse. Once the couples complete the questions, they can work out a feasible plan for marriage. You should put your decision in answers to avoid later conflicts.

The premarital questions should address the following areas:
  •     Communication
  •     Marriage expectation
  •     Conflict resolution
  •     Financial roles and responsibilities
  •     Sexual expectations
  •     Personality points
  •     Children and parenting
  •     Spirituality
  •     Shares of roles in marriage
  •     Leisure activities

On financial matters, you will be asked about your individual and blended financial conditions and plan. The questions will head to your outstanding debt and your plan to repayment. Insurance is questioned also to follow up some on savings or investments and retirement plan. It will help you set an agreement on how you will divide your fortune if divorce happens.

Premarital counseling questions will help you clarify your marriage expectations. You will have a description on what your spouse is expecting and how you may contribute to a solid marriage. They also address how you prefer to resolve conflict that may appear. You should know how far your spouse is tolerant to different opinions and imperfections.

You will have earlier plan for children in your later marriage by answering children and parenting section. You should make a deal on when you want to have children, how you will raise them, and how you will provide emotional and financial support for them.

You will only have to answer some premarital counseling questions before committing lifetime relationships. It is crucial to know your spouse well before you decide to spend the whole life together. The questions are intended to give positive inspiration for planning a marriage. You may use them as a starting point for together discussing your future.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Marriage Counseling Advice : Online Resource

When serious issues strike your marriage, you see nothing but surrender and goodbye to your partner. You just do not realize that you still have plenty options to rescue that previous marriage. One of those is to seek for professional help who would provide you marriage counseling advice. In condition where you both fail to tackle the misunderstanding in your relationship, marriage counseling is a promising answer. Almost all couples who took counseling sessions are enlightened to bring back their happy marriage.

If you have decided to seek for help, there are points to be remembered.
  1. Ask yourselves if you are ready to share your marital problems to the counselor
  2. Ask yourselves if you are ready to face the pain
  3. Ask yourselves if you have willingness to listen and communicate to your partner.
Nowadays you can turn to online resources for easier access to marriage advice and therapy. Compared to a face to face interaction therapy, online resources counseling does not mean less quality of counseling content. However, you may get anonymous marriage advice that declines your comfort in applying the advice. Some others are satisfied in the ability to have online relationship resources.

You may find many programs that offer marriage-counseling advice in the internet. Listed below are the most popular.
  •  MarriageMax.com brings up a system called marriage fitness, which is intended to shift momentum in your marriage. Rather than bringing up past issues, the system attempts to neutralize the marital problems and to practice communication technique. Marriage fitness serves to help such relationship problems as broken trust, addictive behaviors, lack of appreciation, and emotional fidelity. You can try their service starting with a free e-course and assessment to know if the technique works for your problems.
  • LightYourFire.com by Dr. Ellen proposes individual attention to either men or women. The system is intended to be easy, entertaining, and full of fun while working on your problem and teaching you to fight for your marriage security. Like the marriage fitness of MarriageMax.com, Light Your Fire advertises an alternative to marriage counseling and claims to work much more effectively and faster on your marital conflicts no matter how disengaged you both have become.
  • Theravive.com offers more than online marriage counseling advice for couples. It also serves on issues of individuals and families. Their system attempts to provide you the tools that you need to revive hope for your marriage and future. The advices at this site highlight values to help to establish realistic goals and to encounter some critical issues preventing you from building a solid marriage.
There are a number of online resources to get marriage counseling. Some of them do not exclusively concern on marriage and relationship issues. They may practice alternative techniques that are quite different to traditional marriage counseling. Some others may provide their marriage counseling advice on religious teachings basis to help you go through the rough times in your marriage. With so many offers, you may scroll through the list of marriage counseling services to repair your relationship.

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