Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Marriage Problems and Solutions: Making Men Listen to What You Are Saying

It is so naive if one is thinking that you will go through your marriage life easily without any intrigue and obstacles. Even, small rumors about your spouse may lead to serious marriage problems and solutions will be hard to find if you both do not have trust and good communication between each other. During your dating, effective communication is important to know each other, but it develops into even more crucial aspect when you decide to enter a committed institution with the man you love. If you fail to comprehend men and understand that they do not communicate in the same way as the women do, it may spring a lifetime aggravation that could finally lead to a bitter divorce.

First, you women should reconsider how you approach a man when you need to talk to him. Maybe you once have been in a conversation with your husband and you said “We need to talk.” When you come out with that phrase, you have instantly forced him in his defensive state. When he catches those words, he will immediately put up his emotional shield. You will find him unable to listen to words you’re saying. Those words will smack the men in fear and make them think, “Oh my. What did I do wrong now?”

If you are in that situation but hope for a husband who is really listening to your words, you should endeavor to have methods of marriage problems and solutions. The solutions should adjust you to approach your husband at the right time. Men are biologically designed to concentrate on one thing at one particular time. On the other hand, women are able to perform multi-tasking without burdening them too much. If your husband has already concentrated on his overtime workload or on watching his favorite basketball team or doing something else, you should plan to delay your talk. The talk will only give him stress when you come with something that demands his full attention. You should meet him at a better time and you may hope for a much better response.

Furthermore, you should avoid pointing fingers to your man. You should start telling him how you feel. Instead of “you”, the pronouns of “I” and “we” are more preferable to build a good atmosphere during your conversation with your man. You perhaps, for example, are having a husband who has problems in finding some times for togetherness with you. He may be distracted due to his works, children, or some activities with his buddies. If so, you don’t say “You never have time for me and the kids.” Once the words are pronounced to your husband, he will relate it to “You’re not a good husband or father.” He will feel unappreciated and disrespected because he’s doing this to provide a good life for the family. 

Now is the time to overcome the marriage problems and solutions will be available by giving your husband appreciation, and feel of being needed rather than being harassed because he’s not doing something as your expectation.

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  36. It seems like effective communication really starts with caring enough about your partner to meet their needs before your own. This does not mean that you should not take care of yourself, but having empathy is essential for any relationship to be able to thrive. I have learned this lesson many times with my spouse.

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